What do you say to a 6-year-old boy who starts to cry because he's got "bad thoughts" about mommy and daddy dying? Tonight Abie was crying about his "bad thoughts." Michael gave him a very good answer, that mommy and daddy aren't going to die until Abie is very very old. I'm too superstitious for that. I said it, knocking on wood and kenahora-ing right and left, but I didn't have faith in it, and neither, I feared, did he. This is a dark little guy, with a punk rock view of the world. So I asked him if he wanted to know what would happen if we did die, which we weren't going to do. He sobbed, and said, "Yes."
I said, "Uncle Steve and Aunt Jenni would move into this house with your cousins Ezra and Levi and they would take care of you for the rest of your life. They would keep you safe, just like mommy and daddy do." Within moments he was giggling about something else.
Some people are sure to think that was harsh and scary, but honestly, I think I said the right thing.
I think you did the right thing (not that you were asking.) My father died when I was three and I worried all through my childhood that my mother would die. Whenever I opened up to someone about this fear they would just tell me not to worry. It didn't make me worry any less, it just made me stop seeking comfort. My mother died when I was 17 and I felt so betrayed by the way people had dismissed me.
I have three children now and they understand that I don't have parents and it worries them that my husband and I will die too. I just try to be honest and tell them all the things that we do to make sure that we will be here for a long, long time (seatbelts, checkups, etc.) and also let them know, like you did, what would happen if the we did die.
Anyway, short story long, well done.
Comment created on May 8, 2009 at 10:32 PM