So today I'm sitting in the parent meeting of Sophie's new high school (my god that girl is lucky. It's like the Garden of Eden of high schools. The craft shops! The theater program! The tiny classes! The adorable boys with dreadlocks!) and this mom tells me that her child's eighth grade class was called home from a field trip to Mexico. They've been working toward this all year, they are in a completely safe place, but the parents freaked out. Not only that, but there was a movement to ban all the eighth graders from attending school, to ban their siblings from attending school, and/or to force the school to close down completely.

Forgive the profanity, but what the fuck is wrong with people??? This is essentially a cold, for god's sake. Why is everyone behaving like Joe Biden? Do you know how many people die of flu every single year in this country? 36,000. Yes, you read that right. And how many people have died of this in the U.S.? One baby, from Mexico, brought here for treatment, who suffered from a previous medical condition. And how many people die in Mexico and other countries every day from a variety of other contagious diseases? Who the hell knows, but a lot, I'm sure. Hell, hundreds of people die every year from Tylenol overdoses, and you're still giving your kids Tylenol when they complain of a headache.

Are people planning on demanding that their school districts close down from now on during every single flu season?

I'm declaring a moratorium on flu panic. Hmm. What's that scratch in the back of my throat? Oh my GOD!!! I just sneezed!!! I'm rushing off the E.R. NOW...